Yeah. Maybe I'll bring a sleeping bag and camp outside tonight. [he closes his eyes a moment, before looking sideways at nate and saying quietly, apologetically:] I miss you.
[- but with so much earnestness. and then, like he's pretending he didn't, he'll stand up to brush the grass off his jeans.]
[he hates it when leo says this stuff, even if he'd never admit it to him. it makes him feel like he's doing something wrong, like he made a wrong choice somewhere along the way that he never even realized he was making. like there's something he needs to fix.
it's easier to let it roll over him. pretend he didn't hear, or at least that it doesn't rattle him. so that's what he does, pushing himself to his feet and leading leo inside without commenting on it.
it's quiet for a couple of days. the range turns out to be pretty entertaining. leo's better at it than he expected, which is actually kind of a turn on, all joking aside. it doesn't do as much to settle his nerves as he was hoping, but it's fun, and he's surprised by how natural it feels when he gives it a shot.
and then leo goes off for the weekend, and everything feels a little like it goes wrong. nate can't put his finger on it, but something feels off, unsettled. he's too antsy to stay still knowing leo's out there, maybe getting hurt. the dreams are getting worse; they come and go, sometimes it's easier for him to ignore and sometimes they shake him, but they feel more real than ever. making up jobs that leo could be on, ways that they could go wrong, ways he could get hurt. (it has to be made up, he tells himself, because if he really thought leo was getting hurt, he wouldn't be able to stand it.)
he usually tries to leave him alone when he's busy with this stuff, but nate only lasts a day before he gives in and shoots off a text.]
Leo knows it upsets Nate, even if he's never said the words out loud. He hates that he keeps doing it despite his own promises to stop, the way he's sworn to himself that he's going to quit jabbing both of them in that bruised and tender spot, but he can't shake the feeling that even just the littlest bit of acknowledgement means the nate he's lost isn't forgotten entirely.
It's a dangerous, muddy job he's on this time, and not one that his previous memories are able to help with - which is exactly why he'd wanted to get a little practice in at the range. He typically takes a more passive role in group missions like this one, but he refuses to be left defenseless.
There's a several hour delay before Nate's message is even read.
hi baby im not sure im sorry the trip might be extended a little bit, we ran into some car trouble
Or, well, the car owner's foot had been crushed, but Nate doesn't need all those details.
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[- but with so much earnestness. and then, like he's pretending he didn't, he'll stand up to brush the grass off his jeans.]
no subject
it's easier to let it roll over him. pretend he didn't hear, or at least that it doesn't rattle him. so that's what he does, pushing himself to his feet and leading leo inside without commenting on it.
it's quiet for a couple of days. the range turns out to be pretty entertaining. leo's better at it than he expected, which is actually kind of a turn on, all joking aside. it doesn't do as much to settle his nerves as he was hoping, but it's fun, and he's surprised by how natural it feels when he gives it a shot.
and then leo goes off for the weekend, and everything feels a little like it goes wrong. nate can't put his finger on it, but something feels off, unsettled. he's too antsy to stay still knowing leo's out there, maybe getting hurt. the dreams are getting worse; they come and go, sometimes it's easier for him to ignore and sometimes they shake him, but they feel more real than ever. making up jobs that leo could be on, ways that they could go wrong, ways he could get hurt. (it has to be made up, he tells himself, because if he really thought leo was getting hurt, he wouldn't be able to stand it.)
he usually tries to leave him alone when he's busy with this stuff, but nate only lasts a day before he gives in and shoots off a text.]
hey
do you know when you're getting back?
no subject
It's a dangerous, muddy job he's on this time, and not one that his previous memories are able to help with - which is exactly why he'd wanted to get a little practice in at the range. He typically takes a more passive role in group missions like this one, but he refuses to be left defenseless.
There's a several hour delay before Nate's message is even read.
hi baby
im not sure im sorry
the trip might be extended a little bit, we ran into some car trouble
Or, well, the car owner's foot had been crushed, but Nate doesn't need all those details.