busybean | open post 2/2

[he shakes his head, and then shifts so that he's laying at leo's side instead of propped up, curling in closer like it'll make that brief awkwardness better.]

Don't apologize. I'd have been freaked out too if I were you. I'm just glad it wasn't a whole thing.

I'm gonna have to have a profile made on my mom, aren't I.

[he's shifting to accommodate nate's closeness, but there's a little groan in his voice.]

See if she's ever been involved in anything. Fuck, this is crazy.

You can't just... pretend it didn't happen?

[it's genuinely just a suggestion, because he doesn't really know if that's even an option. or what the better option here is.]

I'm not able to just - stick my head in the sand, baby. [he tries to gentle it with sweetness.] If there's questions - I wanna know.

[it still makes him shift a little in place, trying to ignore the quiet kick of guilt that surfaces more and more when this comes up. sometimes it just makes him feel bad, sometimes he can feel himself getting angry just to try to suppress it -- either way, even if it's basically just proving the point, it's easier to try to get away from it.]

I get that. Just... [he pauses, not even sure what he's trying to say, and then shrugs.] I don't know. I guess you'd know better than me.

Hey, it's okay. [leo shifts in to press a kiss to his mouth, then the curve of his jaw.] I'll let you know if I find out anything interesting. [he absolutely won't; he keeps nate out of all of this.]

Yeah. Definitely.

[he's very aware that leo won't, but he doesn't really want to argue about it, either, especially on the heels of all the other tension leo's been dealing with. he moves to catch his jaw instead, leaning in to kiss him softly, lingering. jokes when he pulls back, clearly trying to redirect:] I'm just glad I don't need to worry about putting you through school, I'm pretty sure we'd be cooked in that case.

I told you I put in an application at the strip club. Gonna find a sugar mama.

[he nudges nate back onto the grass, leaning over him to kiss him soundly. leo is clearly distracted, but he's doing his best to be present here.]

Work rough today?

Long as you're still planning to keep me around, I guess that works.

[the distraction is pretty much expected; honestly he expects leo to leave, be caught up in this new question. not that he's complaining, his arms looping around leo's neck to keep him close when he pulls back.]

Not really. Kinda boring, mostly. Anything interesting happen, besides the whole mystery calls?

Nah. Just some side hustle stuff, you know?

[he lingers close when he feels nate's arms around his neck, and he curls one arm around nate's head in the grass, gently stroking at his hair.]

And trying to sleep off the worst hangover known to man.

I told you you'd regret it. [said lightly, though, no venom in it. he nuzzles into leo's hand, watching him with a small smile.] You feeling any better now?

Yeah, I'm all good. [it's weird how relieved he is; it feels like he's reintegrated his old life into his new one sometimes, and he was a little surprised by how strongly he worried about abruptly losing his family again. he won't keep nate a secret forever, but he'd like to share him on his own terms.] I might be outta town this weekend, you gonna be okay without me?

No, I'll be pining and miserable.

[not a genuine complaint, although he probably will be more grumpy than usual with leo gone. especially if he's off to do something potentially dangerous. nate's a little hesitant to ask after all this, but he's also pretty sure if it's something else, leo will tell him.]

But I'll get through it if I have to.

Good boy.

[he leans in to kiss him softly, a little wistful. he's gotten better about hiding it, but how much he misses the man with in front of him is still more obvious than he'd like sometimes.]

Think I'm gonna go to a shooting range Friday afternoon, too, I wanna get a permit. Let me know if you wanna come.

[that doesn't do anything to stop him from worrying, but he does his best to hide that, humming quietly as he considers.] Yeah, maybe. If you don't mind waiting til I get out.

[maybe it'll settle his fears a little if he sees for himself that leo can defend himself. he runs a hand down leo's back lightly, leaning up to kiss him again briefly.]

I know how to use a gun, baby. [it's just an attempt to soothe the concern he can see, not anything else, and he tips down to just kiss him for a while. nothing lewd, not quite tipping into full makeout territory, but doing his best to telegraph soft adoration.] And yeah, I can wait. But you don't have to come if you're uncomfortable.

[he shakes his head, nudging leo's leg with his knee.] No, now I wanna see.

[the range isn't the part that bothers him anyway, that sounds interesting, fun maybe. he's just never stopped worrying about leo charging off into danger. it always feels wrong to just sit back and let him, but nate's not sure what else he can do. every once in a while he starts trying to prod and figure things out for himself, but he never gets very far before some instinct makes him back away again. fear of pissing leo off, maybe, or just nerves about what he'll find.]

[it feels a little like cheating on him the way he had in the loop where he'd figured things out - where he'd fallen in love with the nate there. he was different, but the same, and it was complicated enough to be headache inducing at times.

leo is glad that nate has a fresh start, an escape from the life he'd been pulled into against his will. but god if he doesn't still find himself grieving the shared history, the one person who could ever really understand him.

he shakes off his own distant look.]

Well, just try not to get too turned on in public when you see me being a total badass, okay?

No promises. [an immediate response, a hand moving to squeeze his hip, grinning at him. mostly he's trying to make leo laugh, or at least shake off the weird heaviness that's still hanging over things, not sure what else he can do about it except try to make past it.] But I'll try to keep my hands to myself until you put the gun down, at least.

I am pretty sure that's rule three or four in the gun safety handbook - no getting frisky with a loaded firearm.

[but he's cracking up slightly.]

You ever used one?

[he hesitates, feels weirdly unsure of his answer for a moment before he shakes it off, shaking his head. he dreams about it surprisingly often, especially now that he's stopped blocking them out completely, but in real life--] Nah. Never had a reason to.

[he's a tiny bit surprised leo has, actually, but only a little, aware that some of what leo does requires that kind of thing, even if he doesn't know specifics.]

[he hasn't either in this lifetime, but the idea still feels comfortable enough. leo hums a quiet acknowledgement, flopping over perpendicular to nate, pillowing his head on his chest.]

You happy here?

[it's something he asks occasionally, can't help but to.]

[his arms wrap around leo, resettling so he can hold him close, a hand carding through his hair. he doesn't really need to think about it, answers quickly as he always does, voice calm and certain:] Yeah, baby. I really am.

[a beat, and then, a little quieter:] Are you? [he doesn't always ask, doesn't always feel like it's necessary, but right now he feels a little less sure.]

Yeah.

[it's just as easy, just as quick, even if leo is already a little faraway in his own thoughts.]

Just feels like - there's a countdown somewhere or something. [he knows exactly why he feels like that; it's still novel that they aren't on a timer. he tries to turn it into a joke.] Most young relationships are doomed, you know.

Most young people are dumb enough to give up. [joking. he nuzzles at leo, hugging him tighter for a moment.] I'm not planning on making that mistake.

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