busybean | open post 2/2

[leo frowns up at him, though it's not with any actual upset at nate; he's just stressed.]

You could always just listen to it for me, you know.

I could do that, if you want.

[it's a genuine offer, he just feels like leo's nerves are going to get in the way.]

[he makes a listless, frustrated sound.]

I don't know why I care this much. [and then, with another frown-] No, you can't listen. [what if she says something negative about nate??]

Because it's still your family?

[it's said gently, and he shrugs, squeezing leo gently.]

Are you sure? I could at least listen to the start, let you know how it sounds. [leo's reason for objecting doesn't even occur to him, but even if it did, it's not like he'd care.]

Yeah, but I don't need them.

[it's said with an insane sort of conviction for a teenager to have, even if he is a college student now. quietly, a little frustrated, he'll mutter:]

We've always deserved better families.

I know, baby. [softly.] But that doesn't mean you don't want them to be better.

[fuck knows he's wanted the same thing, even if it was easier for him to walk away. and he'd move mountains if it meant leo could have it.]

I've got you, no matter what. We'll get through it. But it's okay to wish it was better.

[leo stares at him in that little way he does when he's thinking about saying something and then seems to decide against it. he wants to talk about the Thanksgiving they'd spent together, when they'd met nico for the first time, but that was literally a different lifetime, and he bites it down.]

Wanna go to a club and drop acid if I get disowned?

[it's tired, a little wry. he can't believe that's one of his favorite memories now.]

[it's one that nate still doesn't quite remember -- both of them, really. he's less actively resistant than he used to be, but his own memories are still piecemeal, he still doesn't quite trust them. he listens to leo when things come up, he's willing to accept that there's things going on that he doesn't really get. but honestly -- it's easier to trust leo's memories, or at least the pieces he shares as dreams, than his own.]

We can do whatever you want if you get disowned. Personally I vote for flying out there and breaking some windows, but yours is good too. [he shrugs, leaning down and pressing a kiss against leo's shoulder.]

Yeah, cos an attorney dad who hates my guts definitely wouldn't have me arrested.

[but he smiles a little at nate, habitually rubbing the part of his neck where the skin is still a little rough from the years-old burn.]

Okay. Alright. I'm gonna listen, and then I'll decide if I need to go drown myself.

Correction, we can do anything you want except that.

[his words are light, still trying not to sound too serious about the whole thing, but the way he looks at leo fully gives away his concern. he offers a hand, intended to stick close while leo listens unless he tells him otherwise.]

[he exhales, closing his eyes and gripping nate's hand, before he dials up his voicemail and brings the phone to his ear.

when it starts playing, his face registers equal measures of confusion and alarm, and he's visibly stunned when he ends the call. there's a tremor in his hands from the adrenaline more than anything else.]

Okay. Not disowned.

[he can sort of hear talking, but that's about it, so it's entirely leo's expression that gives him some idea what's going on. he frowns a little, holding tight to his hand, replies hesitantly:] I... think that's good? What happened?

[he brings the voicemail back up, plays it on speaker this time. his mom raises concerns about his drinking, and before she quietly and sternly advises him not to talk about that spirit business with anyone else; there is an unspoken but unmissable urging from her that he just live a normal life.

leo is more surprised by this than he has been by anything, for a very long time.]

What did I say to her? What does she know?

[it's clearly not what nate was expecting either, given his expression the further they get into it. he frowns a little at the question, considering.]

I don't know what you said, but some of the stuff that happened is probably hard to ignore. [which seems pretty hypocritical coming from him, and he doesn't even really know the full extent of it, but he's picked up enough bits and pieces from the outside to think even he'd have to accept it if he'd been there.] Maybe she just realized it wasn't something to mess with it when it happened.

[leo shakes his head, and he doesn't quite mean to sound a little bitter in his disagreement, but it would be hard not to hear.]

People can rationalize anything away if they're not ready to face it. [he doesn't Mean to talk about nate here, and he hastily adds:] The rest of my family sure didn't seem to have any problems.

[he squeezes leo's hand, trying and failing to hide the discomfort that passes across his expression. it's still a messy topic; avoiding it probably isn't helping anything, but it still feels like the best option a lot of the time.]

Yeah, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't have noticed it. Or... I don't know, maybe you've just said stuff to her before and forgotten it.

Or maybe this explains where I got it from. [he squeezes nate's hand in quiet apology at the discomfort on his face, not sure what to say to make it better instead of worse.] Either way, um. Crisis averted, I guess. Sorry about all that.

[he shakes his head, and then shifts so that he's laying at leo's side instead of propped up, curling in closer like it'll make that brief awkwardness better.]

Don't apologize. I'd have been freaked out too if I were you. I'm just glad it wasn't a whole thing.

I'm gonna have to have a profile made on my mom, aren't I.

[he's shifting to accommodate nate's closeness, but there's a little groan in his voice.]

See if she's ever been involved in anything. Fuck, this is crazy.

You can't just... pretend it didn't happen?

[it's genuinely just a suggestion, because he doesn't really know if that's even an option. or what the better option here is.]

I'm not able to just - stick my head in the sand, baby. [he tries to gentle it with sweetness.] If there's questions - I wanna know.

[it still makes him shift a little in place, trying to ignore the quiet kick of guilt that surfaces more and more when this comes up. sometimes it just makes him feel bad, sometimes he can feel himself getting angry just to try to suppress it -- either way, even if it's basically just proving the point, it's easier to try to get away from it.]

I get that. Just... [he pauses, not even sure what he's trying to say, and then shrugs.] I don't know. I guess you'd know better than me.

Hey, it's okay. [leo shifts in to press a kiss to his mouth, then the curve of his jaw.] I'll let you know if I find out anything interesting. [he absolutely won't; he keeps nate out of all of this.]

Yeah. Definitely.

[he's very aware that leo won't, but he doesn't really want to argue about it, either, especially on the heels of all the other tension leo's been dealing with. he moves to catch his jaw instead, leaning in to kiss him softly, lingering. jokes when he pulls back, clearly trying to redirect:] I'm just glad I don't need to worry about putting you through school, I'm pretty sure we'd be cooked in that case.

I told you I put in an application at the strip club. Gonna find a sugar mama.

[he nudges nate back onto the grass, leaning over him to kiss him soundly. leo is clearly distracted, but he's doing his best to be present here.]

Work rough today?

♥️

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